Toast 2 Mom

Not My Kids?

My girls are taking a much needed nap. We've been spending some time going over the rules lately. The Hubby was telling me the other night how he read that there are restaurants that now ban children. A basic quote from the article stated that parents have a tendency to let their children behave wildly out in public and then say (and believe), "oh aren't they cute?!"

But to the other patrons, and even fellow parents, seeing someones child/ren act rambunctious at a restaurant (or Lowe's or the grocery store or wherever) isn't cute. It's annoying. So, anyway the Hubby and I got to wondering, oh dear, do we have those kids?

And when you put the fine microscope to your children, perfect children -  they are not. No children are. But that's the fine line. There are always moments of perfection. And then there are those moments of excuses, "well, Susie's tired. Sally just needs some food" yada! No parent wants to be kicked out of a restaurant or store - but sometimes, they should be.

So the Hubby and I have been trying to pay much, much better attention to this. We're not trying to create little soldiers. But we can control a lot. And let me tell ya, it's been a summer of privileges for these children - camps and play dates and dining out and sleepovers and new stuff and more new stuff. And anyway, school is coming up - so Mommy has found herself spending a bit more time losing the summer mentality and getting into the school/routine/behavior/rules mentality.

Because I like dining out. :)

5:30 a.m. Gonna Come Early

I have a cooler, a swim bag, an entertainment bag, a miscellaneous bag, a blanket, a chair and a flashlight packed and waiting by our front door for our 5:30 a.m departure tomorrow for Sydney's first swim meet.

She needs to be at the pool by 5:45 a.m. and in the pool by 5:50 for warm ups. The meet begins at 7:00 a.m. We got our heat sheet tonight, and Syd will be swimming the 25 freestyle and the 25 backstroke. We should be back home tomorrow by 11:30 or so. And so by lunch, it'll already feel like a full day.

I think I was born to be a swim mom. Well I'm sure there's more to life than being a swim mom. But it did allow me to bring my major organizing and packing mojo into full force. There is nearly a daily, if not two times a day, email about the specifics of being a part of the Sharks swim team. I truly had no idea the level of practice, communication, organization, preparation it takes to be a summer swimmer.

One of the nice parts, my kids are already asleep tonight - and it's not even 8 o'clock.

I think Sydney is excited. When I told her tonight about her events, she was enthusiastic - though disappointed that she didn't get to swim butterfly. She just swam the butterfly kick for the first time ever two days ago....but dog-gone it, she's ready to swim that race.

There is a high level of competitiveness in Sydney - but it only surfaces when she knows she's good at something. As a runner, her need to win is fierce. And if there is something she is so-so at or has only practiced every once in awhile, she is reserved and claims to be uninterested.

Swimming is showing different signs. I know she really likes it - even though she's not super strong yet. So some days she says, "I don't care if I win or not." Then she'll learn something new, and I can see that eager, winning fire in her eyes.

So, needless to say, this is going to be a great experience - one way or another - this summer..... And it all begins a dark o'clock in the morning.

Just Because

No more school. No more classes. What will we do to fill the time? Lots!

We did have swim practice today, and another mother and I got to talking about how we spend our time during the day.

When I worked full time behind the desk, with two babies, my schedule was quite full. My evenings were brief and my weekends were bang-bang-bang - one task after the other. And before I knew it, it was Monday all over again.

When we determined that I was going to stay home with my girls, I worried about having too much free time. I was able to get it all done working. Man, what can I NOT accomplish staying home? The answer to that question is still "a lot!"

This other mother from swim team today and I agreed on one thing first - the days absolutely fly by. I mean, I try and try to figure out why and how my list never seems to shrink - but it doesn't. There is always something on my plate.

There are two main differences about staying home versus working full time with children. 1) I can go to the grocery store at 10 a.m. on Tuesday. 2) My children are able to be in activities. My children were able to do activities before, but the options and the timing for many of them just did not work. If I was working now, there is no way my daughter would be on the swim team.

So clearly the flexibility of staying home is a major perk. And of course all of the extra bonus time with my daughters is key - before we blink and they're leaving for college. And the opportunities I now have to share with my girls. But the days and the time and the task list and the guilt and the feeling of constant responsibility - it's always there - no matter what.

So what did we do today on this no school/no classes day. We finally cleaned out my filthy Vanna the van. We went grocery shopping at 10:30. We ate sandwiches for lunch. We helped out a friend and watched her little girl so she could take her other little girl to a doctor appointment. We played outside. We took some pictures. We colored a bit. We did laundry. We cleaned out the refrigerator. We paid two bills. We started making a list of to dos for this weekend. We made a dentist appointment. We went to swim team practice. We exercised at the gym. We made dinner. We washed dishes. We cleaned the table. And another day filled us.

They Are Different

My baby is three years and three months old - and starting to really demonstrate every ounce of that big girl, independent....ummm....attitude.

When you have two children, I think particularly of the same gender, it is nearly impossible to not compare them. But I am learning more and more everyday that "that" cannot be done. My girls are different.

When most of the time they play so great together and show similarities and I'm reminded of something Sydney did when she was Cheekers' age, it's hard not to put their behavior side-by-side. But lately I'm discovering how unfair that is.

Cheekers' has always been a very spirited kid. She's happy and goofy and silly ....and tempered. Sydney is a bit more reserved, a thinker... and emotional. And as Cheekers grows daily - body and mind - she is really showing more and more of those true colors and the need to break free and into living life - not just being guided constantly.

Where Daddio and I have struggled with this new level for Cheekers is addressing her. She just doesn't always respond to what we expect her to - the way Sydney did at her age. And why would she, she's different than Sydney.

I have a feeling this is going to be a very interesting year. Here I go again - but Sydney's year of being three was when things became...challenging. I can only anticipate how things will go for Cheeks - being three, having an older sibling and being compared. I'm going to try immediately to eliminate that last factor.

The good news is I have to two amazing daughters - both super cool in their own way. They're unique - and I wouldn't want it any other way. I'm truly looking forward to my lessons ahead.

Too Long to Title

Here it is Sunday. Here it is already May. I was trying to think of a title for my thoughts today - but they're all over the place. I should have written days ago. I hate it when I wait too long - and then have to mash all of my happenings together into one piece. But that is what I have to do today because other duties are calling me.

On the horizon we have another trip coming up. Sydney's swim team practice starts every day this week. I have several personal goals I need to address. And I desperately need to work off the Easter candy - that I finally threw (most of :) away in the trash this morning.

First things first - the girls and I were away last weekend. The nice news is we got to spend Easter with my family in Illinois - and they made it wonderful for the girls. The bad news was the reason why - my grandma passed away. It was unexpected and an extremely sad few days for me. I have a gigantic list of happy memories from spending my time as a child on my grandma and grandpa's farm. It is those memories I will hold close forever. The light from this is she did not suffer - as she had to while watching my grandpa fight for several years until he finally passed. She was a lively, very chatty, spirit until the end. I'm proud of the life she lead after my grandpa passed away. And I know she's making a lot of new friends now in heaven.

It was a new level of life's experiences to share the celebration of my grandma's life with my daughters. Cheekers is too young to notice. Sydney is of the prime questions age to ask a lot about life...and death. She's an old soul anyway, and I found myself even more intrigued by the person she is at the in-depth questions that stirred in her little five-year old brain.

Below is the most recent photo I had of my grandma and the girls. We will miss her dearly...and think of her often.

Onto other more cheery (or cheeio, rather) stuff.  The girls and I have had quite the princess weekend. Daddio has been away now also for a few days. The girls and I celebrated the royal wedding on Friday by Sydney wearing her princess crown to school. Her teacher said she did not take it off all day. I would have been surprised if she did.

That night I surprised the girls with more princess fun. I took them to see Disney Princesses on Ice. Oh boy! Disney did it right again... and a side note, thank you Disney for making your show items so flashy, exciting and completely overpriced - $15 for a snow cone, come on?! I managed to convince the girls that the show is what we're there to appreciate. At some moments, it wasn't pretty with whiney, complaining princesses of mine wanting more - but they didn't get anything and thanked me anyway with big hugs after the show.

Yesterday, I hired a sitter for a few hours to attend a show called Listen to Your Mother. The show was a group of mothers selected to read their own essays about motherhood. It was an amazing group of stories - some sad, some funny - most inspiring.

I love my blog, I really do. And most of the time I dream of it being more. But I struggle to get the time, energy, motivation - umphf to get "that" done". The ladies that shared their stories yesterday put some thoughts into my mind at least. One of those thoughts is that there is no reason I couldn't be one of those moms reading my own essay on stage next year. I need to continue more with my thoughts....I just do!

Today it is absolute "catch up" day. I hadn't vacuumed my house in, ummm, awhile. I had literally four baskets of laundry to fold and put away. I even had stuff to unpack from my trip - and we got home four days ago. I had to catch up!

The lovely news is some friends are having us over for dinner tonight....so Mommy doesn't have to cook! :)

Like I said, looking ahead on the calendar seems a bit crazy right now. I hope I can do myself right and prioritize accordingly to do the things that make me happy. With my grandma's recent passing and a day filled of inspiring words by mothers like myself - it seems like that's something I should put high on the list.

Have a great Sunday! And Happy May Day!

Grandma and the Girls - Spring, 2010
 

5.5

This isn't the first time I am going to write what I'm going to write....and it's definitely not going to be the last...

Today Sydney is 5 1/2. It's her half birthday, and we like those around here. But to be honest with you, it feels like now more than ever I just want to put a halt on birthdays all together. It's not that I don't like birthdays. And it's not that I don't like the celebration. I'm just particularly struggling lately with my girls growing so, so fast.

Motherhood is hard. It's hard in more ways than I ever realized. It's hard to balance. It's hard to teach It's hard to discipline. At a certain point with those things though, I think, ok, I can handle this or that. But what people do not talk about as often is how hard it is to watch each phase slip by so quickly.

I mean, yes, I've been warned, "oh parenthood is over in the blink of an eye." "Just wait how fast life will be when you have kids...." Etc. But when it comes to balancing and teaching and disciplining, there's an inner-feeling of how those challenges might be like or feel like. But when it comes to watching your kids grow, and having to let go - that feeling you just can't anticipate until it's happening......and it hurts so badly.

I don't know what is triggering me lately. Is it that my big girl got her picture taken this week in her gown for pre-school graduation? (Cue the waterworks people). And that's another thing, I never cried like this before kids!  Uh, darn this motherhood business! Why did I sign up for this role of frustration and tears and agony over the tick tock of the clock??

I'll tell you why, because being a mother is the single most awesome role I've ever had. And if I'm going to be honest here, I don't want the birthdays to stop because I want my kids to stop growing; I want them to stop because I feel my role slipping away. And I'm scared silly what I am possibly going to do next that will feel this rewarding and amazing.

Some people are reading this and thinking, aren't your kids 3 and 5? I mean that's hardly the age to think motherhood is over. True. But most days with these girls, I feel like I already have teenagers. They're so smart and so independent and....growing up!

And for years, pre-kids, I served many different roles, wore several hats, took personality tests to find the feeling in life that motherhood ultimately gave me right away....And it's a very short career.

So again, this hasn't been the first time I've written these woes....and it's far from the last. But it has been one of those weeks....

After school today, I took the girls to the mall... and we had a little photo booth fun! :) Because life goes by SO darn fast!

 
 

Itchy Itchy Go Away

I have had allergies for as long as I can remember. Growing up and spending my whole like in the mid-west, every late summer, like clockwork, I could expect the misery to start. From about August until the first frost, my life was fuzzy. Those that do not suffer from allergies can't understand what is so bad. Those that do, know exactly. Your body is itchy, scratchy, weak and so frustrating. You can't go outside. You can't do the same things you usually do. You feel downright poopy!

Since we moved to Texas, things have actually been better for me. The stuff that floats in the air in the midwest doesn't seem to float the same down here. But there are other things that float around down here. Apparently Austin is one of the worst areas of the country for allergies - great. They say if you don't feel affected right away, just wait a few years. I'm hoping it'll continue to hold off for me.

Unfortunately it has not held off for my baby. Sweet Cheeks got hit with the itchies last spring. Her skin was very irritated and bumpy. She also had a runny nose and sneezing. This year it has come on in a different way. For about the past three or more weeks, she has been itching like crazy. She spends most of her days rubbing her head and her eyes raw. The over the counter stuff was working for a few hours; but I couldn't take watching her anymore - watching her eyes become little red puffy slits.

Yesterday we went to the doctor. One look at her, and it was clear, she needed more than some over the counter meds. She needed more than that - a special trip to a pediatric opthamologist too. My heart was breaking when I realized just how badly she has been itching her eyes.

When all was said and done yesterday, after two different doctors and two pharmacies, my girl ended up with a nasal spray and two eye drops - one for long term and one steroid for short term to heal up the rubbing damage.

I was really worried when we got home late last night that all of this new medicine was going to be worthless. I'm not the holistic, anti-medicine type. However it's another story when it comes to having to give your child a bunch of new foreign drugs. I am a paranoid parent, what can I say. And even if I weren't a paranoid parent, it was another thought in my mind as to how I'm going to convince my three year old to let me squirt stuff up her nose and put drops in her eyes four times a day - yeah, right!

I got Cheekers all bathed last night - and washed that mean old pollen away. Then I sat down and showed her the medicine to make her itchies go away. It became clear pretty quickly that I need not worry about her not cooperating. I think this child has had it with feeling bad - and was willing to put up with squirts and drops. She took it all like a champ! I was so pleased.

I was even more pleased this morning to see that it had already actually shown some signs of improvement. Her eyes were way less puffy, and I even saw a big smile on her face....something that has not been as present lately.

So we have probably at least another month of this. And who knows how many years. I'm hopeful it'll fade as she grows. But if not, at least we now know the signs and the time of year and a way to get the ball rolling to prevent the itchies!