You always want what you can't have....
For probably over a year now Cheekers has been asking me if I would dye her hair brown. I don't know why. Maybe a princess thing. Maybe a character on T.V. Maybe a way to be different from her sister and me? Don't know, but she wants it brown.
It probably wasn't until my 30s that I started to accept my fair coloring. I did not enjoy growing up and being a blond with super fair skin. Most of my friends had brown hair and tans. It was always their moms that would envy my hair and skin and say, "oh, honey I spend a lot of money to have my hair your color." In fact, I still hear that quote even today. And who wanted to be like their moms?! :)
It's funny the world we live in. In theory blonds and white skin may be admired by many. But I always admired the opposite and felt like I was an odd ball - and different or didn't belong. Even Sydney, in the last year, had it pointed out to her that she didn't look like her friends who had brown hair and brown eyes. It wasn't malicious; but when you look "different," you can't help but feel different. And as a kid, that's a horrible feeling. As an adult, it can become a goal.
So I've tried very carefully to make sure my girls understand that we are all different. We come from different places. We have different moms and dads. We act different. We have different interests. And that looking different doesn't mean anything about who you are inside.
I don't know how impactful my words will be. I know I won't be able to avoid the whole "you're different, so we don't like you" chapter in my daughter's lives - and with them being on both sides of the perspective of that. But I do hope I can get it engrained in their minds soonner than later that just because you're different doesn't mean you're too different. It can often mean you're better....so believe in it!