Toast 2 Mom

Playing the role of Santa...and all of its challenges

I'm kind of new to this Santa thing...as a parent anyway. Since Sydney is now four this year, she is aware of the bearded man and the fact that he comes to the homes of good little boys and girls. I'm excited about Christmas and the feelings that I can recall as a kid. I'm also quite nervous in making sure it all goes right.

One thing, I'm a little overwhelmed with the fact that our children have pretty much been under the impression that Christmas seems to last a month. When we traveled up to Illinois a couple weeks ago, we attended three Christmas events. We talked to them then about having good behavior...because it's Christmas time. My kids have to be wondering - just how long does this evening of Christmas last anyway?! (....cuz that's what I'm thinking.) 

Along with this concern, when the actual night happens, will the energy have died? Has the build up been too long? How do I fill in my children - "OK, tonight is Christmas and Santa's coming...so go to bed and when we wake up, we'll see if he visited our house." Maybe that's all I have to say and do...and it'll work...maybe?

An additional factor into this is Sydney is claiming to be "shy" of Santa. I don't think I'm ever going to get a photo of Syd on Santa's lap. She has no interest in a photo op, meeting him or telling him what she wants. So, when the gifts that she has told me she wants show up wrapped and signed "from Santa," is she gonna be like, "how he'd know that?" She did tell me that she colored a picture for Santa and then by that picture, he'd just know what she'd want.

Probably the biggest challenge in the role of playing Santa is making sure you don't shop too early. While "Santa" finished her shopping last week, it was just last night that I was told things that were just on the list a week ago are no longer wanted and a new list has been formed. And now I understand why so many frantic parents stand in lines around the corner on Christmas Eve. Some of the new gifts are manageable and some things are flexible...and then the girls are also going to learn early on about Santa's budget.

So, it should be an interesting year. I don't know why I'm so nervous. I guess I just want to make sure it all goes smoothly. There's so much for Santa to remember. No wonder he came up with that special list!

Christmas This and Christmas That

We got home two nights ago after being away almost two weeks. I thought that our Christmas chaos was over since we celebrated all of our big Christmas events. But it seems as if my Christmas list has only just begun.

Since we've been home, I've pretty much been spending time unloading Vanna of the presents for an entire army our children received. We unloaded the van at night so no one would see the spectacle of gifts!

When I woke up the next morning, I realized that since it was Thanksgiving when we left, we still had pumpkins and a mum on our front porch. So last night we went out and bought a tree. Today I had planned on getting the lights out on the bushes, the tree decorated and the decorations up around the house.

What I ended up getting accomplished today was the lights on the tree, not the ornaments yet. I also put some lights on the bushes, only to discover I put them on backwards and the plug is at the wrong end (nice!). And the Rubbermaid containers holding our Christmas decorations....they're still filled with our decorations - though I took the lids off.

Working quickly, with one daughter asking me to play pretend all day and the other daughter hanging on my leg all day (literally), does not allow as much time as I hoped.

I also have to work on the Christmas photo of the girls, the Christmas cards, the Christmas letter, the Christmas album, more Christmas shopping, more Christmas wrapping, Christmas presents shipping and I was even thinking about making Christmas cookies.

Today is December 9, and at this rate, I'll be lucky to get half of this "Christmas" stuff done in time.

On top of all of this, I still have a ton of stories I did not tell from our trip away last week and photos to share.

Eventually I will catch up...

Now I must go and fold the four baskets of laundry that have been calling my name since yesterday. Bah humbug.

That Darn Clock...

Uh, I've had so much to say this week but not a bright eyed moment to share. The clock has been my enemy. I'll have to catch up on my thoughts soon.

We're heading to Illinois, via Vanna the Van (road trip). The girls (and I) are probably in for a rude awakening of what November air should really feel like. We've all adjusted quite quickly to our warm temps. My Sydney is made for sleeveless clothing. I told her I'm packing all long sleeves AND a coat...she's not too happy with me about that.

It's going to be a holiday bonanza where we're going. We'll be doing Thanksgiving and three Christmas's in one week's time. I only think our van is loaded today for the drive!

But first things first, Thanksgiving. Well, I am thankful for so many things....but I'll plan to make my list and share tomorrow. I'll have lots of quality time on the road to put it all together.

Until then...

All I Want for Christmas...is a decent portrait of my family!

Seriously is it too much to ask to get a decent photo of the four of us? We have tried again and ....well, we'll try again. This time the photo ended up being the best it's ever been; but why is it so exhausting!

No one tells you before you have kids the anxiety that comes along with getting their pictures taken. I take pictures of the girls all the time, and I realize there are good times and bad. But something happens, and has happened since my first daughter's first photo session at three months old, when we walk into that photo studio - it always ends up bad!

One kid looks up, one looks down. One has a crooked bow, one has a crooked smile. One is laughing, one is crying. I could plan the photo first thing in the morning or at the end of the day....and it is never the right time. Then you add the Hubby and me into the mix.....forget about it! Sighhhhhhhhh. Maybe next year.

So, dear family if you're reading this, you'll get a picture, we're all in it....and let's just leave it at that.

Egg and Bacon Burrito

Well, in one week we'll be celebrating Christmas. Yes, my side of the family is going to be doing the Thanksgiving/Christmas thing all at once. So, leading up to this moment, I'm spending all of my spare time Christmas shopping!! And preparing for our travels.

Because of this, life has been simple. Tonight, the girls are getting their third microwave egg and bacon burrito for the week. It's not a burrito I microwave. It's an egg and then bacon that I microwave and put into a tortilla and roll into a burrito. (I just needed to specify!)

Perhaps you'll get a picture or two out of me - or maybe a clever thought or two before next week. But basically just wanted to chime in with our current status....Christmas. Feels a little strange...since it was in the 70s today and all I want is some stuffing and gravy.

Just Checking In...

The guilt of not writing or blogging or even photographing is getting to me...and it's only been a couple days. I am still here...though I am currently in the process of trying to accomplish a lot of things. Managing my time, among this chaos, is not working out as planned. Therefore, my sweet little blog is taking the backseat. It's this time of night that I'm usually able to sit and wrap up the day....but I'm not in the mood to use my brain to remember it all.

Been busy working on several house projects. Trying to prepare for next week - Grammy and Papa are coming to help celebrate Sydney's big birthday! So along with birthday preparations, I'm also in high gear trying to get our new house exactly the way I want it before we have company. Pressure!! :)

On top of that, the weather went from crazy sunny, hot and dry to crazy cloudy, wet and humid. I'm pleased for the rain, as it's made our brown town turn green again. But what a mess it also brings. I hope the sun appears again...soon.

So, anyway, this is my "I'm still alive....though I'm whining with so much to do on my plate" post.

Hope to at least get a couple photos taken this week...

Is it me?

One of the things about me and my mothering skills is that I feel very proud of my ability to be patient with my children and find ways to encourage them to do things they don't want to do in a calm, fun way, or not a forced way. At least I felt I had these skills until recently. Lately I've been having some challenges with my almost four year old.

For the most part I have used this writing space of mine as a place to discuss the joys and humor of motherhood and how my girls are the sparkles in my eyes. I have not wanted to write something for them to see later that might make them think I didn't like them or something. A part of me still chooses to keep this blog innocent. The other part of me thinks that's not really reality.

Reality is over time my girls are going to make me cry, be so angry I could spit and so frustrated I want to pull my hair out. And....well, I'm going to provide the same feelings to them. That is life. That is parenting. That is being a mother...and a mother of girls.

So with all of that said, lately I do not feel like I have a three year old. I feel like I have a thirteen year old....and it is frustrating the crap out of me. Maybe the only difference between now and ten years from now is that when my daughter makes me angry, she wants to give me a hug very soon after that incident. I don't see that happening later in life.

What I've been dealing with is constant (constant) debate, argument, stubbornness and drama. (Yes, I am aware I have daughters and that comes along with it.) Being at home now, and with my girls all day, every day and trying to get stuff done and trying to be productive and trying to keep them engaged and entertained and this and that is catching up to me.

This is really hard for me to write about because I don't like to feel needy or that I can't handle something or that I need a break. I begged for this opportunity to stay home, and the fact that I could complain at all doesn't feel right. But lately I wake up and my debates begin at breakfast over drinking milk and don't end until concluding that only one book will be read tonight, not two or three or four or five.

Not only is there debate all day, but I don't seem to be doing anything right anymore. My daughter loves to pretend and role-play. I do not enjoy this. I enjoy her creativity. I enjoy the dialog she comes up with. I do not enjoy getting my script and being told to do it again and again and again because I am not doing it right, I do not speak correctly, I apparently do not even breathe correctly.

I met a woman recently who has two daughters about the same ages I have, maybe a little older. She was telling me how she cannot wait for her baby to become the age of her older daughter. She said, "I really just don't enjoy motherhood with my baby. I really just don't feel like I'm going to 'shine' as a mother until they get a little older." This comment struck me hard. I feel just the opposite. I am scared to death to lose my babies. I thrive on the first three years. I'm worried my shining days are about to end....and what if I'm a horrible mother from here on out?

I'm not depressed. I don't feel defeated. I go through waves throughout the day. I'm just feeling a little lost and trying to search for my new game plan. I still love every bit of my girls, of course. I'm just wondering what happened to those skills I was rockin' a year or two ago when my oldest was throwing carrots at me or collapsing to the floor in the department store or screaming at the top of her lungs in Target. How could that possibly be easier to keep a happy face and a pleasant tone than what I'm dealing with today?

Is it me?