I have been riding a very fast moving train for about three months. And yesterday I had to finally blow off some steam.
Building a business, preparing for our home to be on display for an open house, running a household, raising two girls and all that involves and being a decent wife (and about to celebrate 10 years) has been building and building and building on my sensitivity. And all of a sudden, but not out of no where, the waterworks showed up yesterday - and I just had to let it out.
Though I'm trying to start this cookie business to show my daughters another side of me - I feel like I've been failing as a mother. Every day they say, "mommy, you're so busy." Though I've been working my tail off researching right and left and trying to line up all the steps to this business, there are several pieces still missing and I think, how will I get this all figured out?
And something I failed to mention in my blog recently - in the last couple weeks I broke my toe and I bumped Vanna into another car in a parking lot and dented in my bumper. Typically I share all these goofy moments that happen with me day to day. But my head has been so heavily weighted down - and I simply just didn't have time.
Today was better though. My mind just needed some space. When I get stressed, I feel really insecure and paranoid. It's a horrible feeling and very unproductive. But eventually I start to see the light.... And the light was some much needed quality time with my girls today. I got lots of business stuff accomplished today - but even better I got some extra carved out one-on-one time with my girls - where I really listened to them, not multitask listening. I worked with them, not helped them while I was doing something else. And best of all I did lots of things WITH them not just FOR them.
And I feel like maybe I'm going to get some decent sleep tonight....